Living in Paradox
Paradoxes show us that we sometimes need to be able to hold opposites as one; and that we need a bit of something’s opposite in order to have the thing itself. Life comes with Death. Dark is paired with Light. Autonomy is simpatico with Interdependence. In this world of seeming duality, the polar ends fold back upon each other, like yin flowing into yang and yang into yin, duality collapses into non-duality.
My yoga teacher, Tim Senesi, encourages us to “cultivate a bit of the opposite,” which allows us to enrich and deepen the yoga practice as a whole being experience. When I feel lethargic I tend a little bit to effort, and vice versa. This creates an approach to living that is informed by balance and enables holistic health. When helping my own clients restructure cognitions and hurtful emotional patterns, we generate fluid forms of thinking by poking at opposites and entertaining diverse potentials. Being able to hold two truths at the same time, while acknowledging their uniqueness helps the mind transcend itself, expanding conscious awareness and intuitive understanding.
A more modern example of non-duality lives through non-binary and fluid gender identities. This type of gender expression harmonizes the masculine with the feminine. It recognizes that these polar energies exist along a spectrum, and that the spectrum itself encompasses them both as a whole and independently. Seeing through seemingly disparate parts to their interconnected wholeness is a skill worth developing, for it encourages openness, fluidity of thought, and self-transcendence. When encountering paradox, allow the mind to sit in it without restriction or judgement, this will in turn sow seeds of felt understanding of non-duality.
Practice: The Tao Te Ching is a manual for reckoning with paradox. Take the passage below from No. 45:
“True perfection seems imperfect
Yet it is perfectly itself.
True fullness seems empty,
yet it is fully present.”
Seat yourself for meditation. Allow your mind to hold these four verses. Practicing the skill of contemplative meditation, observe how your mind chews on the meaning encased in the words. Tune into any sensation arising in your body and take note of it.
Challenge: How do you navigate paradox? Do you think of the world in black and white terms, or do you attune to nuance? Notice where it is hard to live in gray spaces and inquire why that is.
